Not Every Pain Needs to Disappear

Just like each wrinkle speaks of the age I lived by

Dark circles speak of the hours I have pondered over my botherations  

Just like the scar on the body, speaking of struggles and learning 

Yes, I can vanish it and make it all flawless 

But then I no longer associate myself with a picture-perfect me

That’s not who I am 

Not every pain needs to disappear!

Just like my painful emotions from the past 

A list of disappointments that weren’t supposed to happen 

Just like the beautiful souls I lost 

I wish I could hold them tight forever 

Yes, my heart wishes to erase the past to take away my pain

But when the history is deleted, I no longer remain the person I am today 

Pain brought suffering, but also carved me into who I am today 

I don’t want to be unreal, that’s not who I am 

Not every pain needs to disappear!

Just like the times when life strayed from the default assumptions 

I was thrown into chaos, which didn’t make sense 

Just like the times when hope left me 

I lost the purpose of anything in life 

Yes, I wanted to stay longer in my comfort zone, I feel in control 

But then, I wouldn’t have rediscovered a newer meaning to life 

Disintegration was chaotic, only to find a new homeostasis 

I don’t want to remain static forever; that’s not who I am 

Not every pain needs to disappear!

Just like those evenings, which only become darker 

When I shrink deeper into my loneliness 

Just like the real illusions of everything sinking in the future 

It scares me as much as the reality 

Yes, my heart never wants to go there again

But then, I would have never appreciated the clear blue sky of the next morning 

I would have missed the joy of discovering a colour or life I next thought existed 

Stormy nights were scary, only to find the rainbow of hope ahead 

I don’t want to see life in one shade, that’s not who I am 

Not every pain needs to disappear!